Martha’s Workshop Part Two: YOUR TURN

It’s not all about him, as you know. It should always be about you and most of the time it is. You stand your ground in a lot of areas, but when it comes to the bedroom, you back down and give in. You work to please him and forget to tell him what you want. Now’s the time to tell him – teach him once and for all, how to pleasure you the right way, and enjoy it as much as you do.

That sounds like a mighty task for most people, but it can be done. For those with a loving partner, he may not complain and already enjoys it. Still, you stop him from going down there since intercourse is a lot easier than a round of dictation – right, left, higher, lower, harder, softer. He tries his best yet you wonder if he got the memo in junior high, or downloaded the GPS coordinates of your spot on the map. And if he’s not a frequent diner in cunnilingus, now’s the time to sign him up.

Tips to Share:

• Communicate your preferences outside the bedroom. Minimize his performance anxiety during the act by making polite, considerate suggestions while going for a walk, cooking dinner, or after a lot of vodka.
• Ladies first. Don’t do him or have sexual intercourse until after he does you. If he ends it before you’ve had a chance to begin, encourage him to stay down there, and express your enthusiasm.
• Expose everything. No vagina is built the same so make sure he knows yours. Turn the lights on; use a magnifying glass if you have to. Most men prefer the visual stimulus so don’t be afraid to let him really see you.
• Teach him your personal road map. You know what you like so tell him exactly the right style, speed and force that work best. Don’t forget to praise him when he hits the spot.
• Once licking is mastered, add finger probing first where it’s comfortable, then push the boundaries. He’ll get excited exploring new areas and trying new things.
• Experiment with different positions and toys, deeper probing, and conquering the G spot.

Educational Materials:

Lick By Lick – How To Go Down On A Woman And Have Her Begging For More

Orgasm On Command

Revolutionary Sex

Tips for You:

• Love your vagina. Look in the mirror and examine all its delicate edges – standing up, sitting down, and with a hand mirror.
• Be sure you can see all of it. Keep it neatly trimmed, shaved or completely waxed.
• Check your oil inside and around the delicate edges. If you don’t like the way you taste or smell, neither will he.
• Improve your scent – smell like nothing. Drink plenty of water and try the same healthy diet as discussed in “Martha’s Workshop Part One.”
• For everyday cleaning, avoid douche, soap and body wash, which can upset the pH inside the vagina. Water works best on every inch and fold.
• Just before the romp, freshen up with unscented wet wipes.
• Never give up. Even if it takes you an hour (or more) to climax, don’t feel pressured or guilty. Get to the end, do it often, and soon, the routine will improve.

Most men are happy to learn if you’re willing to teach them, and the kinkier the better. Read karma sutra books or sex education articles together to appreciate how far cunnilingus can go. No more stopping early or making excuses – both of you! Experiment and be free, give him an experience to think about, and you the pleasure you deserve.

Author: Dr. Martha Stanley, PhD, The Sex Doctor.

You might be also interested in:

Martha’s Workshop Part One